Have you ever found yourself in a changing room, looking yourself in the mirror and thinking;
“Wow! This outfit will be perfect for when I am invited to an exclusive barbecue on a private beach or a cool arty-party on a roof top of Manhattan! Or even if I am invited to a release party, or to a book launch of a famous author, this outfit would definitely be perfect!” or any other imaginable situation..!
You feel all excited about the idea, until you realize, that it is not YOUR life you are thinking about, but in fact, the clothes would fit so well into, someone else’s life, or your imaginary dream life..
I found myself exactly like that, about nearly two years ago, in a changing room in Ubud, Bali, trying on an amazing long green silk dress.. It looked like something out of a fairly tale and for sure, something like a fairy princess would wear if she ever stepped into the real world.
Oh, I LOVED IT!!!!
It would be perfect to wear when… yeah, when..?
When I am invited to an artsy party in New York, me who always wanted to be a writer, thought that it was that kind of dress a writer definitely would be wearing! Or for a cool summer party in Bali (which I was just about to leave), sigh, would I ever use a beautiful dress like this?
Just as I was about to come back to reality, I remember looking up, seeing myself in the mirror and thinking;
“F**k it! I am going to CREATE a life when I need to wear this dress!” and so I bought it!
Shortly after, I found myself going for a reunion dinner and party back in Dublin, and for the occasion I – wore my new dress!! Perhaps not as much as because I needed to as because I wanted to ! And that felt totally good enough! I was well pleased and happy to have an occasion to use my fairy dress! And I was very happy with my decision to buy it, even though it perhaps did not have a very practical purpose in my life.
Life has, since that party in Dublin, taken a few unexpected turns and due to a serious of events, now I am just back here in Bali. I have decided to do something, in my own opinion, rather crazy, I am taking a leap of faith and have decided to give myself 6 months here in Bali to work on a book that I have been working on for a while, and which I feel a calling for to be written.. Anyway.. So I arrived last Friday night, landed in the middle of the night in Denpasar. It had been a long enough journey, just over 24 hours from Stockholm to London, London – Hong Kong and finally Hong Kong – Denpasar. I arrived fine to Denpasar, only to find out that meanwhile I was in Bali, my suitcase was happily having a stop over in Hong Kong. It had not made it onto my last flight in time, so I had to leave the airport with just my hand luggage, hoping that my suitcase would eventually find it’s way to Bali too.
Ouch! But those things happens right? Could have been worse! Luckily I had put down some extra underwear in the hand luggage, and just by chance, in the last minute I had thrown in two tops which had just been clean, and since my suitcase was locked and ready to go, I had just put them down in the hand luggage.
Perfect! So now I had a clean top to sleep in and another clean top for the next day.
Unfortunately though, me who had planned a day by the beach, had no bikini and no other clothes as suppose to the ones I came in. So it turned into a day not so much on the beach, as by the sea, wearing my trousers from the trip.
However, as I got ready for the beach walk, I noticed, that I had in my last minute re-packing, put down the paper bag in my hand luggage, with a silk top and that green silk dress which I bought in Bali (and which I rarely use, but adore so much that I keep it in this paper bag from Bali). The walk on the beach was lovely and got me both sweaty and sandy, and after I went back to to the hotel to do some writing.
I got back, had a shower and thought of the bag with my silk top and silk dress,
“Thank God, that I put that paper bag in my hand luggage! It means I have a clean dress now! Great, I have really nothing else to wear!”
And that’s when it hit my, like a FLASH!
“OH.MY.GOD..! I have nothing else to wear, I need to wear that green silk dress!
I need to wear that silk dress, now when I sit down to write..!!”
Holy shit! It just happened! I just Did It! I realized, that by definition, I had created a life in which I needed to wear that silk dress, on top of that, when I was writing on my book!
That put a HUGE smile on my face, and felt like a reminder, of the everyday magic we are surrendered by! It felt like a little hint from above, about what we are capable of doing. I had said in that changing room, more in order to justify a superfluous purchase, that I was going to create a life where I needed to wear that dress, and that just happened!
Perhaps not in the sort of way that I had foreseen, and in that changing room I didn’t mean it so literally as it happened, but still..! Still!! It happened!
And I can tell you this! Had it not been for the necessity of it, I would not have put on that silk dress that evening. But now I needed too, and I loved it!! I went for a walk by the beach at night and I loved walking in the sand with the green silk around my legs, and it didn’t matter that the waves caught the edges of the dress, it dried fast in the wind. I loved the feeling of the silk around my legs, the green material, one minute caught by the wind and next one by the waves. It was a lovely way to spend my first night in Bali, with the silk around my legs, the sea next to me, and a gentle reminder from the Gods or whoever or whatever we have above, that life is rather magical,
and we, have the ability
to create and live our own dreams!
If even for a moment..! 🙂
Thank you for listening!